超爆笑的英語笑話

時間：2022-10-16 10:30:33 爆笑笑話我要投稿

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關于超爆笑的英語笑話（精選11篇）

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網絡為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳于網頁，微博，貼吧等。下面是小編帶來的超爆笑的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

關于超爆笑的英語笑話（精選11篇）

　　超爆笑的英語笑話篇1

　　When we work evenings .we often order take-out food at the office.One night we all gave our orders to Sharon, who wrote the selections on a self-stick note. Unable to find our list when she arrived at the fastfood restaurant, Sharon stepped up to the counter. But before she could speak, the cashier recited the exact order. " How could you possibly know that?"asked Sharon.

　　在我晚上上夜班的辦公室，大家常常訂些外賣食品來吃。一天夜里，我們都找沙倫訂了食品。她把訂單列在一張不干膠的紙條上。等她到了飯店時，怎么也找不到那張訂單了。沙倫走到柜臺前，還沒等她說話，收銀員就背出了所有大家訂的東西。沙倫問:“你怎么會知道這些的呢?”

　　"Tt's right there," replied the cashier,"stuck to your chest."

　　“它就在這兒，”收銀頁說:“貼在了你的胸前。”

　　超爆笑的英語笑話篇2

　　When we decided to sell our house, we nailed "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long，the doorbell rang.”How much are you asking for the treesp"a young man asked.

　　我們決定賣掉我們的房子。于是，我們就在院前的大樹上釘了兩塊牌子，上面寫著:“拍賣。”沒過多久，我們的門鈴就響了。一位年輕人問:“你們的樹想賣多少錢?”

　　超爆笑的英語笑話篇3

　　Some friends and I stopped at an ice-cream parlor.where I asked for my favorite，a hot-fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream. But when the waitress brought our orders，I saw that mine had vanilla ice cream. " I ordered chocolate,"I pointed out.

　　我和一位朋友來到一家冰淇琳店。我要了一個我最喜歡吃的巧克力奶油圣代。當女招待送來我的冰淇淋時，我發現我的冰淇沐是香草的。我說:“我要的是巧克力的。”

　　The young woman consulted her order pad and responded，"So you did. I'll take it back and get chocolate."

　　那位年輕的女士查了一下訂單回答說:“你確實要的是巧克力的。我把它拿回去，再給你拿一個巧克力的。”

　　“Never mind，”I said.”I don't like to see anything wasted."

　　“沒關系，”我說:“我不想浪費東西。”

　　"Nothing is wasted around here!"she insisted.“We eat our mistakes. "

　　“這兒什么也浪費不了，”女招待堅持說:“我們吃掉自己的錯誤。”

　　超爆笑的英語笑話篇4

　　Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.

　　三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。

　　Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

　　它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來。

　　The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

　　于是最大的那只烏龜對最小的烏龜說，“你回家去取傘吧。”

　　The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."

　　最小的烏龜說，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

　　"We won't," the other two promised.

　　“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應說。

　　Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

　　兩年后，大烏龜對中烏龜說，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

　　Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

　　正在這時，一個聲音從門外傳來，“你們要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　超爆笑的英語笑話篇5

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了后，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會空著手來吧?”

　　超爆笑的英語笑話篇6

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

　　超爆笑的英語笑話篇7

　　During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

　　One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

　　Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

　　Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

　　"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

　　"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."

　　"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"

　　在第二次世界大戰中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個大軍營中工作，當然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。

　　一天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說，“我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會很高興。”瓊同意了，于是他們幾個月里一直通著信。

　　后來，他再沒有來信。她收到了另一個軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個部隊醫院里。

　　瓊到了醫院，她對護士長說，“我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯。”

　　“這里只有親屬可以探望病人。”護士長說。

　　“噢，是的，”瓊說，“我是他的妹妹。”

　　“很高興認識你，”護士長說，“我是他的母親。”

　　超爆笑的'英語笑話篇8

　　Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

　　Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

　　Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

　　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

　　Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

　　George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

　　"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

　　George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"

　　軍營里有二名士兵，一個叫喬治，一個叫比爾。喬治問：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”

　　比爾說：“有。”然后把信紙和信封給了喬治。

　　喬治又說：“我還沒有筆呢。”比爾又把自己的筆給了他。喬治開始寫信。寫完后把信放進信封里，又問：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。

　　這時比爾站起來，向門口走去。喬治問：“你要出去嗎?”

　　比爾說：“是的。”隨即打開了門。

　　喬治說：“請幫我把這封信投進辦公室的信箱里，還有...”他停住了。

　　“你還要什么?”比爾問。

　　喬治看著信封說：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

　　超爆笑的英語笑話篇9

　　The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

　　But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.

　　"How old are you?" he said.

　　"Eighteen, sir," said John.

　　"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

　　"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."

　　第二次世界大戰開始了，約翰想參軍，可他只有十六歲，當時規定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫給他進行體檢時，他說他已經十八歲了。

　　可約翰的哥哥剛入伍沒幾天，而且也是這個軍醫給他做的檢查。這位醫生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。

　　“你多大了?”軍醫問。

　　“十八，長官。”約翰說。

　　“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”

　　約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個月。”

　　超爆笑的英語笑話篇10

　　My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."

　　One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."

　　父親、哥哥和我到西點軍校去觀看一場陸軍與波士頓大學之間的橄欖球賽。開始之前，我們到處轉了轉，碰到許多穿著整齊制服的學員。幾名游客問新兵是否愿意擺出軍姿來讓他們攝。“好讓我們的兒子知道，如果他到西點軍校來學習會得到什么。”

　　一對中年夫婦走近一名非常漂亮的女學員，問她是否愿意擺個姿勢照相。他們解釋說：“我們想讓兒子知道他沒來西點軍校錯過了什么。”